Cooking

Dat cord completly ruined this thread for me, anyway cooking chemicals on a daily bases makes cooking pasta kinda boring ...

 

I have a super duper unhealthy pasta recipe for you.

Ingredients
Grated Cheddar Cheese (try and get one that's fairly soft, cheap cheddar is fine, imo it's better than more expensive cheddar in this dish) 1 cup
Cream 1 cup
Bacon, diced 1/2 cup
Oil teaspoon
Pasta of choice (tortellini is my personal favourite)
OPTIONAL: 2 diced chicken breasts, I don't recommend having tortellini if you do this, have a pasta without meat in it because otherwise you'll feel horrible.

Heat oil
Fry bacon til nice n brown, crispy is bad, it makes a bad texture with the pasta.
If you're doin chicken, cook it up now too, nice and brown to seal in the flavour.
Add the cream, simmer on low (should be bubbling a teeny bit, not too much, stir it now and then to prevent burninating)
Put the pasta on to cook.
Once the pasta is nearly good to go and your creamy sauce has reduced a little bit, put the cheese directly into the sauce, stir until it's all melted in nicely and you have one thick creamy sauce.
Adding pepper can be good here, maybe a little bit of coriander/herb of choice if you're feelin like a fancy cunt
Chuck a snag on the barby and maybe a shrimp or two.
Serve yo pasta in a bowl or some shit, put a load of sauce on top, devour like a boss.
Serves 2-3.

It's fucking nothing but carbs and protein but GOD DAMN is it delicious and simple as fuck.

I only eat this like once a fortnight, most of my diet is stir fry (all my roommate will cook), sometimes I do curries or bologneses. I wanna do a quiche sometime, seems like a fun meal to make.

 

I'm really good at outdoor grilling and bbqing. I enjoy smoking pork shoulders and briskets. I did a 13lb. Pork shoulder last week and it took 15 hours on the smoker. But it was guuud!

 

And fat. Lots of fat.

 

tomorrow is the first day of BBQ season for me.
I have a 3 grill extravegansa planned. I have been preparing all day with various marinades, rubs, mops, glazes and dips. I will post recipes tomorrow. Based on success. But it basically goes like this:

one whole salmon stuffed with lemon, lemon thyme and garlic.

cylinder of burger meat, seasoned liberally with garlic salt and smoked paprika, wrapped in a bacon weave.

ribs rubbed in Chinese 5 spice and smoked paprika, marinaded in rum, cider vinegar and ketchup.

chicken breasts, marinaded in onion, spring onion, fine IPA beer and cider vinegar.

all marinades will be stuck in a pot and reduced to make a mopping sauce.

BBQ Master Race.

ohh and corpse: that smells guuuuud.

 

A-z-k when I come to the UK we bbq.

 

I wish I could cook, I really do

 

what a life you live. jealous

edit:
if there is anyone's cooking that i'd like to try in this thread it's probably candles.

 

BBQ pit boys, YouTube.
also, confirmation on Candles, a real aficionado in all things culinary. No doubt, none. At all

Trickster: its time.
Paradox: and drink till you fall over

 

I never really thought of my cooking as being particularly unique or classy. I make good, cheap food in large portions. Despite how much I know about cooking, the fact is that good ingredients to make fancy meals go for a good price, which I don't particularly want to pay.

In other words, I can't say if what I'd make would be anything really notable, but it'd definitely be able to feed a group on a budget.

 

True, the best food needn't be expensive.
The best ingredients are usually not more expensive but harder to source. You can't always get the good shit in a supermarket. Go further afield and you can get great produce for next to nothing.

Double cooked Pork belly is waay better than caviar and it is cheap as chips, as we say here.

I pride myself on being able to make a meal from whatever is left in the cupboard/fridge/freezer. A bit of creativity and a couple of £ can go a long way.

Also buying in bulk. I got a whole fat ass Salmon for £15 today, and instead of buying chicken fillets you can buy a whole one for the same money and get 3 meals from it.

 

Speaking of salmon, what I used to make was this salmon with creamcheese herbs thingy sandwich.

Lemme explain.

Ingredients

Cheesecream with herbs init, you can choose, spring herbs w/e like you can buy them in the supermarket I think.


Then get some salmon, you can try to smoke it yourself or you can buy it smoked or just eat it raw with lemon juice.

Some bread but not normal bread this bread


So next up, you heat up your bread under a grill, the bottom layer first,

you drizzle some lemon juice over the raw salmon put it on, put some cheese on put the salmon on the the below party of the bread put it back in the oven and then you let the cheesecream melt a bit take both parts of the bread out, maybe put some vegies on it and have fun. Delicious, easy and cheap

 

I actually make that myself sometimes, but you're overcomplicating it.

Get salmon (smoked is preferred).
Get philadelphia.
Get hard-bread type thing - This can be toast (gone cold), crostinis or even crackers. It really doesn't matter.

Put some pepper on the salmon and you're done.

Honestly, cold shit like this which takes less than 60 seconds I can do.

 

it's not overcomlpicating it's perfecting!

 

Deif's guide to pretending you are a sophisticated chef:

Pretend you have a fancy lasagna sauce:
Add tomato puree, salt, pepper, cayenne chilli powder (just a touch), mixed herbs, coriander, chopped garlic (from a jar, don't do it yourself) and water to meat. Works for bolognaise too.

Pancakes:
Flour, melted butter, eggs, milk, salt and cinnamon for fluffy American pancakes. More flour, less milk = more american. Opposite is more English.

Crepes:
Flour, eggs, milk, salt. Add ham and cheese when frying. As a pudding put sugar and nutella instead of ham and cheese.

Fancy roast potatoes:
Cover in olive oil and chuck on a shit load of steakhouse pepper half way though cooking.

Fancy mashed potatoes:
When mashing add dill (if you're having fish, otherwise don't bother), salt, pepper, butter, milk. Mash and whip until you get a cloud.

Fancy egg and bacon sandwich:
Fry bread on both sides, grill the bacon and fry eggs with a lid over the pan. The lid will cook the egg yolk and give it a fancy white cover.

Indian chicken madras (or any indian) sauce:
Add cumin, coriander, garam masala, cayenne chilli pepper, salt, pepper, ginger, tumeric, crushed cardomon pods to your meat and random veg.

Fancy rice:
Any rice with salt and a touch of tumeric.

Fancy chicken:
Cover in shit loads of mixed herbs and wrap in bacon. Wrap in aluminium foil and stick in oven.

All recipes here allow you to do something else whilst it's cooking with about 10 minutes of actually doing shit before it's cooked. I hate preparing but it's so easy to make fancy stuff.

 

i think it'd be interesting to see what it tastes like. your knowledge/attitude toward cooking is definitely more hedonistic than you let on.

 

I must admit that, whilst I do like good food, and I do have quite "up-market" tastes with regard to the type of food, I don't have nearly the pallette to judge as well as other people. Or suffice to say, my standards are probably lower than other people.

I really like "finger" food like Tapas and such. It's quick, easy, varied and generally quite nice.

 

i'd try new foods but id rather not pay for them since im probably going to throw them out anyway (on the first try, at least). poor, etc

i eat very badly and very little. at least im aware though

 

The single best way to cook cabbage is in a pot of water that you just simmered corned beef in.

It's fucking amazing as you already know