Cooking

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by RappemongO, Jan 18, 2013.

  1. RappemongO

    RappemongO Member

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    We all do it, unless your umbilical is still attached to your momma. (In which case you should treat her nice and do some cooking for her once in a while.)

    I quite enjoy cooking. My latest find is sesame seed oil. That shit does things to my tongue not even my past girlfriends have managed. It's like liquid peanuts, perfect for seasoning that duck and noodles wok.

    Any other 'pires derps enjoy the fine art of cookery? If so, what are your always in stock ingredients and favourite dishes? (Bonus points for recipes.)
     
  2. w00kie

    w00kie Mustachioed Mexican

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    meth.

    .
     
  3. Grantrithor

    Grantrithor Member

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    Crack.
    Stock ingredient is baking soda.
     
  4. alucard13mmfmj

    alucard13mmfmj Member

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  5. A-z-K

    A-z-K Member

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    In no particular order

    Basilico Modena
    Onions
    Thai Red/Yellow/Panang Curry Pastes
    Potatoes
    Mirin
    Soy Sauce Light & Dark
    Coconut milk
    Rice wine (cooking variety)
    Rice wine vinegar
    Toasted sesame seed oil
    Ground nut oil
    Olive oil
    Sugar
    Milk
    Eggs
    Strong white, Wholemeal, Tippo 0 Flours
    Parma Reggiano
    Basil Plant
    Canned tomato
    lemons
    limes
    Frozen Kaffir lime leaves
    Black pepper corns
    Table Salt
    Pink Himalayan Salt (it really is better)
    Long grain & sticky gelatinous rices
    2 cupboards full of spices
    Spun carbon steel wok

    It sounds like alot of stuff but it really isn't. Most of it lasts a very long time & I have the base for most simple pan asian and italian meals. I can go buy a meat, fish or veg on my way home and work out what I'll eat when I get home.

    My Favourite quick right now:
    Teriyaki Tuna on rice vermicilli noodles

    There are two things that really count in this meal and it is good tuna and good Soy. If you don't have mirin you can look for substitutes on the internet but they all suck - in a pinch I use drinking quality rice wine and sugar combined over a very low heat.

    Teriyaki marinade (no measures, use eyes & taste): soy sauce, matchsticks cut ginger, fine minced garlic or garlic powder, mirin, honey, possibly brown sugar depending on sweetness of the mirin & honey.

    Get the best Tuna steak you can. Go to an actual fish mongers or go hang out at the docks! Marinade Tuna steak in teriyaki sauce.

    Prepare your rice or noodles. Figure this out yourself - don't over cook it, keep tasting it, keep it warm in a steamer or on a hot plate or anything you have to hand.

    Heat the wok over medium heat, toast loads of sesame seeds - not too far or they go bitter. Take them off as soon as you see them START to change colour. Remove steak, pat dry & COVER your tuna in the sesame seeds, if you have any (which you don't) then add half a star of crushed/powered star anise.

    Now get the Wok reallly hot, leave it on the highest possible heat for 10 minutes until it is smoking. Then put in some sesame seed oil (not too much, this shit is strong flavour just enough so it doesn't burn) and wait till the oil is also smoking. Open a window & turn off the smoke alarm. Throw the steak in, DO NOT OVER COOK IT you can eat tuna raw. It should not be cooked all the way through, the middle should look rare, its fine. I go 1 minute each side roughly, no more than 2 minutes. Take it out and put it on the plate, allow it to rest for 3 minutes at room temperature.

    During these 3 minutes you can do the vegetables - anything crunchy is fine; shallots, peppers, onion, cabage, choi, snow peas, whatever. You can use sesame seed oil again - I prefer ground nut / peanut oil as it is more delicate. Anyway again - don't over cook, veg should remain firm and crunchy.

    Now throw in the rest of the marinade and keep the heat pounding until it begins to simmer - immediately reduce heat so as to keep it on a vew low rolling simmer and ensur it doesn't burn. Keep watching it now, don't walk away and fuck it up whilst you watch youtube, it'll only take a few minutes - it should reduce down.

    Spoon out the veg onto the plate with the Tuna steak. Now put the noodles on the plate or if serving with rice and you want to look pro then pack rice into a suitable sized small bowl, coffee/tea cup or whatever and invert onto the plate so you get a nice shapely dome of rice - smear recepticle with oil so it doesnt stck and comes out nice.

    Tuna steak should now have rested and got a good texture, slice across the grain of the meat with a sharp knife. You should still have some sauce in the wok.

    Optional: if you like thick sauce then put a little cornstarch in a little cold water mix well and mix with the sauce, heat until you get the desires consistency.

    Put it over the tuna steak.

    If you wish to garnish then I like to grate a carrot
     
  6. ImSpartacus

    ImSpartacus nerf spec plz

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    Yeah, I was looking for a witty picture about cord cutting because I still live with my parents and mommy still cooks for her baby boy.

    But what I found was that you don't actually have to cut an umbilical cord at all. In a "lotus birth", the child remains connected to its umbilical cord, which is still connected to the placenta, which is still connected to the mother. After a few days, the cord hardens and disconnects as a whole, shrunken chunk.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2013
  7. Grantrithor

    Grantrithor Member

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    That's fucking disgusting man. Please, if it's going to be a massive as shit image link it.
     
  8. Trickster

    Trickster Retired Developer

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    I just learnt to do a fry-up English Breakfast. That's about my limit. I can't cook anything else, and I usually fuck up toast. I can do most domestic things, but cooking is beyond me. I just order food in every night.

    I would probably at least TRY to learn, but when I get back at like 7pm, it'd take me at least 90 minutes to make, eat and wash up (no dish washer). After that, I have a few other bits and pieces to do, then I'd be going to bed. Fuck that.

    I don't particularly subscribe to the whole celebrity chef thing, but the idea that Jamie Oliver has brought out a book called "15-minute meals" is something I'd probably look at, given my main issue with cooking is the time constraint. But I'm not interested in cooking until I have a dish washer.
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2013
  9. A-z-K

    A-z-K Member

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    Alucard, Spartacus. Thats just wrong.
    You guys have no class.
     
  10. Candles

    Candles CAPTAIN CANDLES, DUN DUN DUN, DUN DUN DUN DUN.

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    I cook all my meals unless I feel really lazy. Potatoes, potatoes, onions and potatoes.
     
  11. LordDz_2

    LordDz_2 Strange things happens here

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    Trickster, can't you buy one of these?
    [​IMG]
    I got one for my dorm, and it's awesome.
     
  12. Mahtipakarat

    Mahtipakarat Member

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  13. LordDz_2

    LordDz_2 Strange things happens here

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  14. Trickster

    Trickster Retired Developer

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    Don't they need plumbing? I did look at a small one and it still needed plumbing.
     
  15. Beerdude26

    Beerdude26 OnThink(){ IsDownYet(); }

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    I cook a lot for me and my gf. I have some favourite recipes that I'll post here when I get back home
     
  16. A-z-K

    A-z-K Member

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    My friend has one of those dishwashers - it didn't need plumbing.
    You sick it by the sink, You fill with a hose adapter that goes over the tap and the spent water flows back into the sink - also with a hose that you just stick in the sink. Works pretty good too.
     
  17. ImSpartacus

    ImSpartacus nerf spec plz

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    Try cooking one big meal on Sundays or whatever and then eat it through the week. I do that with fried egg and bacon for breakfast during the week.
     
  18. Chris0132'

    Chris0132' Developer

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    You do realise that you don't spend all 90 minutes actually cooking.

    You take your cooking tray, you line it with tinfoil, you put your food in it, you put it in the oven, you go play with yourself for 45 minutes, you take the food out, put it on a plate, eat it, then wash the plate.
     
  19. .:.HeXi.:. emcalex329

    .:.HeXi.:. emcalex329 Member

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    Sesame oil is fucking great. I grew up on that shit.
     
  20. complete_

    complete_ lamer

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    fucking rich people and their sesame oil
     

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