LF nerds for D&D 5th edition

This gif is a repost from this forum. Have you no shame?

 

Awesome, can I play too and die in a dumb/unfair way?

 

Y'all might be hatin', but I'm still havin' a good ol' time narrating a story.

The bandits were not lying - they were actually the forefront of an orc and goblin army, which arrived just a few days after the tribute deadline (which was not met - nobody wanted to sacrifice so many women to the bandits, part of a horde or not), raiding a village along the way and laying siege to Chezal itself. It was a mighty force - some of the survivors claimed over a hundred monsters - that threatened to bring down the entirety of civlisation around the area.

Thankfully, due to some effort coming from adventurers, the pallisade was finished on time, save for a small canyon perfect for a surprise attack in case some enemies decided to try a different approach - it was mutually agreed upon that it was more efficient to leave the rocky riverbed open with an ambush set up. It was actually the right decision, but let's not get ahead in the story.

The day was one of the best this year, but a grim thought hung over every folk in Chezal - a hunter came back, bearing news of an army of orcs and goblins emerging from the forests to the north and heading straight for the town. After a short stop at the village near the lake, they set up camp about an hour out of town and waited until nightfall. Then, they commenced the attack.

The captain of the guard, helped by the Old Witch, a priest and the majority of the town's local garrison, was holding the northern gate, which was assumed to be the one most likely attacked by the main force. He left the defence of the exposed canyon to Bjorn and Harald, leaving another priest and a couple of his guardsmen under their command. While the soldiers and adventurers risked their lives at the walls, the local populace cowered in fear in and around the temple, waiting for good news - or death.

The orcs tried waiting out the defenders, commencing the attack around midnight. Forth came two massive battering rams with large iron goat heads at the front, each pulled by eight muscly orcs, with a host of goblin archers behind them. Their intent, simple - batter down the weak wooden gate and flood the interior, slaughtering and burning along the way.

At the same time, a smaller force of orcs and goblins were sneaking in the tall grass, trying to come through the exposed canyon. There, the remaining defenders were waiting, either perched at the top of the canyon or forming a defense line in the its natural, rocky bottleneck. With a couple of cauldrons full of boiling oil, they were waiting to spring the trap.

As the battering rams progressed forward, human defenders peppered them with as many arrows as they could. A couple orcs were felled, but the goblins quickly returned fire and the fight became a bloodbath for both sides. The Old Witch, using her wicked magical tricks, sprayed the attackers with acid and fire the moment they came too close despite the hail of arrows coming at the walls. It was so overwhelming, in fact, that only a few of the defenders lived to tell the tale - among others, the Old Witch (who was downed by one of the last few arrows that came sailing over the wall). The fight was close and bloody, but thanks to the combined efforts of everyone, the orcs were all downed and the few remaining goblins ran off, scattering on the wind.

The western point, although also successfully defended, saw a much bloodier fight. The orcs managed to get very close to the canyon thanks to all the tall grass on the fields extending to the southwest of Chezal. Even though everyone was prepared, the numbers were quite overwhelming - Bjorn's mighty axe couldn't keep up with the orcs' mighty swings, and the massive volleys of arrows kept the few human archers at bay. In the mess that ensued, the priest was shot dead with a gruesome shot to the head, downing him on the spot. Seeing that Bjorn and his comrades were soon to be overwhelmed, Harald rushed to the cauldrons of oil and knocked a few of them down, burning at least a quarter of the goblin archers dead. They noticed the threat, however, and let off yet another devastating volley.

Poor Harald, exposed on the gangplank thrown over the canyon, stood no chance against them. The arrows connected, their momentum throwing him off the narrow wood. He plunged down into the shallow river, smashing on the rocks to the cheers of vile goblins.

This act of valiance gave the rest of defenders some respite, but the odds were still against them. After taking a couple of hits (and taking a good few limbs), Bjorn was left with just one more orc between him and the goblins, but at this point, fear overtook the rest of defenders, and disregarding all safety, they ran off towards the town. Bjorn, left alone, caught unprepared for the impromptu retreat, didn't manage to deflect the bloodthirsty orc's axe. He fell down, the last thing to see before his plunge into darkness a towering, green monster standing over him...

Or was it? The rest of the guards came to their senses and returned to the edge of the canyon, bows at the ready, and felled the last orc, taking cover among rocks and trying to push the goblin archers away - with moderate success. At some point during the messy exchange, Bjorn came to his senses after the mighty blow, just in time to witness the goblins' morale breaking and the remaining few running for their lives, away from the town. Too exhausted to properly celebrate, he sent the remaining few guards to help the northern gate - the battle for which was still raging, but, alas, way too far for them to arrive in time - while he himself, stumbling, limping and bleeding, headed back to Chezal proper to announce the costly victory.

All in all, the fight was a really close one - with two of the four priests dead, the orb of doom could potentially break free of its restraining bubble. Hordes of undead would spill forth, likely destroying the town in the process. But that was something to worry about later down the line. Losing a friend hurt the local adventurers quite dearly, as that was the third person to die in the last month - the missing faces started becoming more and more visible and painful. With only nine guardsmen (and the captain) left alive after the dust had settled, the area would become ever more prone to bandit and orc raids, and with the priests' power being funneled into keeping the orb locked away, not even Chezal was safe.

These, however, are stories for another time. This one ends here, forever in remembrance of the fallen heroes that sacrificed their lives to defend everyone's home.



tl;dr omg DDD killed another character clearly on purpose too

EDIT:
Now that the town's grown a bit and has a full-fledged-ish wall around it (and some improvements in-town) new, more experienced adventurers begin arriving at the tavern. You can now start with a level 2 character, or go with a level 1 guy if you want to.

 

Um, no? I rolled really well on the arrow damage and got an instakill. It was avoidable though, the guy stayed exposed instead of getting into cover.