How about a quote contest?

"Mines have lots of uses. I've discovered a few myself. If you have a stuck vehicle with plenty of armor, and a long stick, you can punt your jammed tank right out. If your squad is travelling light, they make great plates to eat off, unprimed that is. You can play frisbee with them, we used to do that a lot until Jon's dog got blown up, but that's another story. (It wasn't the mine-frisbee though) If you use em as frisbees primed you can throw 'em at enemy troops and vehicles. They don't always go off, but it sets some mines down by the enemy target so they'll probly get detonated anyway. It's always fun to leave them in vents, when you hear a bang you've killed a rat. Faction or rodent, haha.

This one time, I snuck through a faction base, singlehandedly blew up the turrets at the entrance, crawled through some vents and got in one of their vehicle storage. I put mines in some hilarious places. Some are probably still in place, they'll go off when a hubcap gets taken off or they put in some fresh shells. One of the best places though, I took the barrel off one tank, and shoved a mine inside it, then put the barrel back on. Thankfully they'd been servicing the tank and left the appropriate tools nearby. Anyway,when I finally got seen I legged it in a nearby jeep. Drove off with that same LT in pursuit. So I was being pursued by one angry motherfucker in an LT, I heard the bastards starting some engines up behind me, and a few explosions, fine handiwork it was. Anyway, as I approached the exit the LT driver decided it was time to use a cannon rather than his pissy MG. Didn't go well for him. The LT itself wasn't that damaged sadly, but the entire turret was gone, it spun out and hit some supplies, mostly tires and empty barrels, and they stopped the other LTs from chasing me. Got out the front of the base and ditched the jeep in a river. Took a while but I got to Baskton, borrowed some fellas phone and rang in for pickup. HQ were pissed at me though. They were angry because I didn't try to blow up anything important. But lemme tell you, seeing your buddies blow up around you as they sit on a mine in their cockpit, or roll over a mine hidden under a wheel, ain't gunna make you wanna get in a tank for a long time.



Whaddaya mean using mines to seal an area from vehicles? Maybe if the fuckers at HQ put some decent explosives in them I'd do that."

-Cpl. Rogers, Head of the 7th Demolition Division.

"This one time, I shot a Faction rifleman in the chest with my RPG. He just kept running. Sure says something about these weapons."

-Cpl. Rogers, Head of the 7th Demolition Division.

 

"Hold on, let me check the training manual...

Cocking weapons... Clearing Jams... Crouch Jumping.. Where's the entry on whistling sounds?"

-Last words of Private Petruvski, Northern Faction

 

"Always keep your RPG loaded. It won't really help in a fight since the damn thing is useless, but the extra weight at the back of it will make it more effective to hit faction on the head with."

-Cpl. Rogers, Head of the 7th Demolition Division.

"Never keep a mine in your back pocket."

-Cpl. Rogers, Head of the 7th Demolition Division.

"Plastic explosives should not be deformed into humorous shapes, unless the situation calls for it."

-Cpl. Rogers, Head of the 7th Demolition Division.

"We once gathered up about 150 mines and stacked 'em up together. That's why there's no such thing as the 6th Demolition Division anymore."

-Cpl. Rogers, Head of the 7th Demolition Division.

 

First time trying to write something like this.
I recall grabbing a jeep and driving straight to the NF HQ . Their base was completely empty, spare their commander who was busy erecting a radar. I snuck up behind him and stuck my scoped rifle against his neck, when i fired i heard a loud 'TWONK' and he bloody kept standing!
I dolted out of there while he was shaken, but it left me wondering: Are we fighting robots, or were the recruits given toy guns? I recall hearing the veterans talking about 1-shot kills, even at distances up to 5km.

-Pvt. Mike, 23rd recon division.


You'd think they'd make our vehicles water-proof, or at the very least water resistant, i've heard tales of entires battles being lost due to puddles causing the vehicles to blow up after 5 seconds. But i've learned not to make such request, as command will most likely give you a slap and go on with weakening our guns and replacing the payload in tank shells and rpgs with fancy fireworks.

-Pvt. Mike, 23rd recon division.

On an unrelated note, this ham tastes like bread...

 

"This one time, I swear to you, when I fired my RPG a little flag came out the end which said 'Bang'."

-Cpl. Rogers, Head of the 7th Demolition Division.

 

"How come Command doesn't put a machine gun on the side seat of these jeeps? I'm damn sure a Motorcycle with a side cart would be more effective than those things. At least you could see over the damn steering wheel in a Motorcycle!"

 

"Then there was the time when we replaced all the rockets to be used in a weapons demo by the 7th demolition division, you shoulda seen the look on their faces when they opened fire on the dummies."

-Pvt. Mike, 23rd recon division.