Let's (actually) play ... Dwarf Fortress!

You can cook booze and make food out of it if you have a kitchen.

Never underestimate the ingenuity of dwarfs. They can even get drunk on solid food :D

 

Build a Kitchen and "prepare easy meals" in it. This will turn booze into <insert booze name> cookies!!!!!

Or just hunt some wildlife or fish.

Oh and next time bring along some animals. After a while they will multiply like crazy. I always have a good 50 spare animals going around. In case I need bones or meat. Just don't use cats... else you have to constantly butcher kittens.

In the "Z" menu you can see how much food you have in stock. For my 208 dwarves I have about 8000 food (3000 drink, 3000 prepared meals, 2000 plants/meat/seeds). A lot of it stored in sturdy iron/copper barrels so it stays fresh longer. Even if my underground ponds, farms and animals all vanish I reckon I can survive a few years. Sigh I just wish I'd knew how to make the fortress a duchy faster... I won't stop this damn fortress until I gets the king.

Sorry for boring you all, here is a nice tip for the other new guys:

If you want to get rid of stones, do the following:

press I. Make a 1 square zone. Set the zone to "g" (Garbage dump)

Now use D B D Select all the stones you never want to see again.

Your dwarves will dump all the stones into the designated square.

Alternatively you can use

D B H to HIDE all the stones... drink some booze and forget them.

Another useful hint:

If you want to designate LARGE areas for mining/woodcutting/plantgathering/dumping remember to press SHIFT while selecting. The cursor moves a lot faster this way.

 

It's a bug in Dwarf Fortress, you can cook your brewed drinks. This results in a lot of food, seeing as Plant --> (x5) Drink --> (x5) Food

 

yea it seems like my famine has been fixed, partially by assigning 4 fishermen, 2 fish cleaners and a dedicated cook


but now my castle is becoming hard to manage every dwarf does his business but some stuff never gets done (like building all my traps, or setting up my switches)

and once every so often a goblin ambush comes in and messes up my entire industry :

 

A.) All things need to be underground. There has to be only one entrance. The entrance has to be littered with stonefall-traps. No workshops outside. The more stuff you get INSIDE the better.

B.) For levers and traps you need dwarves with the "mechanic" labor tagged on. Its good to have 1-2 dedicated mechanics/masons. Also make sure some of your specialist have item/stone/dildo hauling deactivated.

C.) Goblin ambushes are provoked by dwarves moving a lot around the outside. I went without a single ambush for 4 years after my stuff was underground. Then I stationed some hardcore war dwarves outside (about 5-6) and it provoked 3 ambushes in a row :D Needless to say the poor goblins got chopped up real bad...

D.) If you don't want to forbid all your dwarves dildo hauling you can use the O-Menu, forbid gathering of minerals for a season so more important stuff gets done.

 

My dwarf was high.

Usually when I do an entrance, I do a 2 wide hallway, then split them off into a T then bring them foward some more, then make a room for the staircases. I riddle the hallways with traps and cheap doors. I also make a back entrance, thats a single hallway filled with more doors and traps, and forbidden passage. Usually I make use of this and have it branch into my UG farm. then from there, a few levels up or down, where my main hallway is. I sometimes make zig-zags every so often, but mainly just for my farm... Damn flood. get down in the grates..

Unno, I'm not that very great in my fortress designing.

Btw, I spent 5-6 years waiting for a goblin army to attack or becoming a country or whatnot. they never seem to happen for me.. =| But I guess the outside activity explains it for me... I usually bunker them down in the cave, and have an open roof in my grand hall of drunks (to avoid cave adaptation), then a channel of spikes for anyone who dares to fall down that height :D quite silly watching goats pile up there.

 

...and the problem is?

there is a proper way to use cats, only bring one with you so it wont breed.

lol

for getting a king, check the wiki. i know that first you need a prince/noble and an economy but i dont know what else you need besides at least 200 dwarfs

 

Thank you for the advice, i will make some adjustments

additionally, what do you mean with dildo hauling?

 

Well, the reason dwarf women are so rare nowdays, cause the legendary smithing/making skills of the dwarves make superb dildos. Causing epic fail for the dwarven race.

 

I am truly sorry but that does not seem to make any sense for me

if the dwarven would be able to create highly pleasurable dildo's and in effect decrease the amount of actual sexual intercourse between any dwarf and any ... "dwarfesse"(?) this would reflect on a high number of sexually frustrated male dwarfs, without negatively influencing the amount of female dwarfs

this would make female dwarfs more desirable as children, (because she will have far more chance on getting an appropriate/desirable mate, and a male child should be happy if he has the luck to find any female dwarf companion available in his life) and thus positively effect the female dwarf population

and since a male can fertilize multiple females at the same time, all of the before would at the least seriously boom the dwarf child population, and in special the female dwarf gender (also this would lead to a female cultural and sexual revolution not even seen in the PRoC)

for more information, see link above

 

the useless hauling that only 1-2 actually need to be doing, not the whole fortress.

but its not. dwarfs are perfectly egalitarian. they are equally skilled dildo crafters (and users?)

 

You seem to be missing the point, less females that want to engage in sex equals the females that want to will be more "valuable" thus making them more desirable children and as such more females will be supported leading to more families

 

Well, if I was a dwarfess, I wouldn't want some funky beer laced bearded dwarf trying to muff dive between my stubby legs. Pretty much, I figure they'd rather attend dwarven passion parties than to get into that situations. For kids, only the women that need the dwarf child support check so they can buy a dwarven dildo do so.

 

To be honest, most of the dwarves run around in rags and are covered in multiple layers of vomit/blood/water/mud anyways. So its hard to imagine any of them being picky about partner choices. The only clean dwarf in my whole fortress is the soap maker, who recently went insane and drowned himself in the fish pond. I dumped the last 4 pieces of soap onto his corpse in the fish pond.

I can't say what the reason for his insanity was, as he didn't get into a strange mood or something. He was married to a female dwarven champion of the royal guard though and has 6 children. In fact, all the children somehow come from royal or fortress guard members... this might say something about their usefulness. Both groups usally lie drunk in the alestores all day or get beaten up by the real military dwarves in the barracks.

Also: Huzzah for making it to duchy! If anyone wants to try it too sometimes and has a hard time:

Check the export agreements to your dwarven friends. In my game they wanted crossbows badly so I spent a whole year building crossbows out of everything but soap. I sold the caravan all the crossbows for a whooping 110.000 of export value. After the traders were gone the fortress got promoted to duchy. (DO NOT offer them)

Now the king is about to arrive, he wanted 7500 worth of roads though :D Seing as a 9x3 paved stone road is only worth about 60... ugh.

Instead I plated the great hall with platinum tiles, which are worth 80+ per tile and counts towards roads.

 

extended unhappiness can trigger some form of insanity, i've lost whole dwarven families to that

my fortresses always seem to have bad luck somehow, i once was doing super (more like "mediocre" but super to my standard) , until i dug up a hole in the mountain with demons in and they basically slaughtered the whole army in 2 minutes, and after they relaxed i only had 2 fishermen and 1 insane butcher

 

bitchers go insane often.

 

So, how far is the first turn?

Also, huzzah, made it to mountainhome )

Also managed a 2 layer deep aquifier penetration, hard work though.

Time to abandon the fortress

 

Drown it

 

Maybe I'll reload the fortress and drown it but its not really worth it. It would take about a year to fully drown because of the insane amount of earthwork I dug out on the lower levels. And the whole fortress has carefully placed floor grates that keep it from effectively drowning.

Though I COULD redirect the whole river into the fortress entrance, the water pressure could be enough to let every well explode. Or just wait long enough for some evil mofo breaking one of the gear assemblies. My aquifier penetration doomsday machine of 30 screw pumps then fails and eventually drowns everything.

Anyways I went to my fortress in adventure mode and went directly for the king's bedroom (which has only door to the vault). I was greedy to get my hands on the 30000+ coins. Then I realized that in adventure mode certain items get destroyed. When I entered the bedroom I realized too late that the "Pet" Titan got out of his green glass terrarium. He even did A LOT of smack talk before grinding me into the next wall. Instant death :D...

I presume he was pissed for being incarcerated for a good 5 years in a water filled terrarium.

 

Roflmao