We need some sort of an empires viral video.

Take BF2's "The PWNED Life" -- there's something like 2 million views for this video ( http://youtube.com/watch?v=GwaMHJzruDU ) -- more than there are BF2 players. I think we could make some sort of a similar video that's actually funny to advertise Empire's presence.

Now I think we don't want to do a direct ripoff of existing machinema clips, but I'm sure amongst all of us we could whip something up that'll seem appealing to people?

 

Writing and producing Viral advertising isn't easy.

 

We need a "Meet the ..." series for Empires.

It worked for Team Fortress 2, and a good parody would work for Empires too.

Also, it needs to be full of memes, like "UNLESS ITS A FARM".

 

I vote we parody it in a really bad fashion, ingame video of players shaking their camera to indicate speech, and instead of the TF2 thing, we have the same ending video, but when it's fully zoomed out we cross out Team Fortress and put in Empires. As well as throwing images of BE and NF heads onto the TF2 characters.

 

hehe

But Empires ins't that cheap! We need a good parody on Empires, like a normal instruction video, but there's always griefers around..

 

The Meet The videos weren't tutorials, they were highlighting VALVes epic character animation and whacked out characters.

BULLET

 

We can have cyber-kun do a real life copy of "what what in the butt" by butters from SP.

 

Anyway, for the commander guy, we definitely need CPatton's voicing.

Grenadier guy should be the serious work horse of the team blowing up tanks, taking down enemies, defusing mines -- just as teammates walk nearby and blow them up.

Scouts could be the "mall ninjas" sitting up on a hill on something like emp_smokies.... not being useful one bit all the while chanting to themselves, "THIS IS MY RIFLE! I CALL IT BETTY."

Engineers could be sitting at home feeling themselves up with their engineer tools.

And riflemen. Ah. Riflemen.

 

Tank gets 9 mined up in the air then lands one someone. Also stuff getting run over is always good XD

Maybe it should wait for aircraft though?

 

Start with a large group of guys rushing to attack a point, and just before they get there, a jeep comes by and runs them all over. Or something.

 

3phase jeep + BE barracks = aircraft

Throw some mines on the landing spot for added effect

 

Take the time to read the mail ninja thing. it will induce a few laughs and a hearty *groan* .

 

The mall ninja thing was hardly worth the time.

Anyhow,

I was actually thinking of making some kind of trailer for empires. I, however, don't have the moviemaking skill to do so on my own.

I would GLADLY participate in any group effort, though!!!

 

I tried to start up a machinima group for empires, didn't go well. I'd be happy to direct a video though if you wanna join up with the Brenodi Choir Division.
http://steamcommunity.com/groups/423CD

 

Making stories won't be a problem, recording voice and video, and editing it will be. Hmm, i feel like writing a story, but i've never done anything like that before. Plus my english isn't perfect.

Edit: What about something like this?

An engy (Ethan), rifleman (Richard), gren (Greg) and scout (Scot) are standing next to eachother, in the NF main base in cyclopean, looking at the city. The camera is behind them looking at the city at first, after which it moves to a few meters before them looking at the NF main base behind them with them standing in front of it

Rifleman: I feel bad about this guys, i really feel bad about this
Engineer: Hey, i'm not getting out there again
Rifleman: But we've been standing here for 5 minutes doing nothing
Scout: Ethan is right, if we leave our base, we'll just get slaughtered again

... few seconds silence

Grenadier (silent): Fucking skillstackers

... few seconds silence

Engineer (silent): Yup

... few seconds silence

Scout: Hey Richard, how many times did you get killed today?
Richard pulls up the scoreboard: 17 times

... few seconds silence

Scout: Greg, how come you weren't able to take the northwest? They had only like one jeep there.

... few seconds silence

Grenadier: Believe me i tried, several times. (sigh) ... I never thought a jeep could be that dangerous.
Scout: why, what happened?
flashback: grenadier standing in northwest going after a jeep, which turns around and runs him over
flashback: black screen
flashback: grenadier searching for a jeep, sees him coming towards him, hits him once before the jeep runs him over
flashback: black screen
flashback: grenadier chases a jeep screaming "this time you're going down asshole", sees how the jeep slows down, turns around and starts driving towards him. Grenadier stops and starts running away from the jeep screaming "noooooooooooooo"

... few seconds silence

scout: ... i see

... few seconds silence

Engineer: Scot, i remember you saying you would sabotage their turrets in the city, so i could destroy their barracks and wall in their command vehicle?
scout: yeah well, ... i had a little problem. Hide can be very effective when you don't move, but people tend to still see you if you do
Engineer: but there was no one there besides the commander, and he was sitting in the command vehicle
Scout: i think the bastard called for backup or something
flashback: our hidden scout moving towards their turrets
flashback: enemy comm in city yells "i think i saw a hidden scout moving towards our city base, and i see someone else on the radar close to the command vehicle, can one of you take care of this?
flashback: our hidden scout moving towards their turrets
flashback: 4 people coming out of the barracks, running around everywhere trying to find him (looking from the scout's view while he's prone)
flashback: scout: "fuck, if i move i die ... i hope Ethan is smart enough to wait"
flashback: Ethan coming from behind a wall in plain sight saying "... 28, 29, 30! Ok he's done, let's destroy this .... aah shit!"
flashback: enemy guys and turrets shooting and killing our engineer

... few seconds silence

rifleman: (sigh)

... few seconds silence

Grenadier (silent): Fucking skillstackers

... few seconds silence

Engineer (silent): Yup

Rifleman: well we did stop their tanks didn't we?
Engineer: oh yes, that's right. yes, i suppose we did well there didn't we?
Grenadier: well we did use up all of our team's resources then
Rifleman: well yes, but we stopped an army of tanks from getting through the city. No one expects us to do that for free right?
Scout: true, ... true
flashback: 4 NF heavies attacking 1 BE med tank in city, while BE riflemen, grenadiers and the med tank destroy all the heavies (the BE med gets destroyed as well)
flashback: black screen
flashback: 4 new NF heavies driving towards city
flashback: grenadier(excited): This time we destroy all that is left
flashback: engineer: roger!
flashback: 4 NF heavies arrive in the city
flashback: scout (yelling): OMG they have another med tank
flashback: all but the scout yelling: where? i can't see him? shit he's shooting me
flashback: black screen
flashback: 3 new NF med tanks going to the city
flashback: rifleman: where's greg? anyone seen Greg?
flashback: scout: he must still be in the city
flashback: rifleman: He's still alive? Man that guy is awesome!
flashback: engineer: no wait, there he is ... hey Greg, where have you been? (an NF light tank joins them)
flashback: grenadier: I had to wait untill there were enough resources to buy this light tank
flashback: rifleman: were you able to take that med tank down?
flashback: grenadier (very proud): yes i was !
flashback: all 4 arriving in city
flashback: scout: where the hell is everybody?
flashback: rifleman: what the hell is going on?
flashback: scout: Look! There they are! Most of their infantry and all their vehicles are going north
flashback: engineer: what the hell are they doing?
flashback: grenadier(happy and proud): they probably decided to attack our main base from the northwest instead of the city. They really must fear us!
flashback: rifleman (impatient): well let's deal with the few guys left in the city then
flashback: black screen
flashback: 4 guys in the NF main base again
flashback: rifleman (mad): I fucking hate mines!
flashback: engineer: shall i buy a jeep, we might have enough to buy one?
flashback: scout (mad): nah, i'm not going out there again
flashback: grenadier (mad): me neither
The camera moves to a position behind them looking at the city (NF main base is not visible anymore)

Grenadier: You remember when we almost ambushed them?
Scout (excited): Oh yeah, that was sooo awesome !
flashback: our scout spotting enemies, after which he goes prone while hide activates
Engineer (excited): Oh my god yes that would've been our single best ambush ever !
flashback: our engineer building an mg turret next to an already placed camera
Grenadier (silent but satisfied): yes, it would have been ...
flashback: our gren laying mines, getting back after some cover, prepared to fire his mortar when the enemy arrives
Rifleman (excited): No kidding, we were awesome together, everything went so smooth
flashback: our rifleman and engy taking up positions on the flanks of the gren to cover al entrances

... few seconds silence

Rifleman: so what went wrong then?
engineer: no idea, we should've won that one
grenadier: have no clue about what went wrong
scout: one moment they were walking into a trap, the next i spawned at our main barracks
rifleman: yeah, same here
flashback: enemy grenadier beating our scout to death, spotting our other 3 main characters from above for his team
flashback: 3 enemies looking at the roof waiting untill their gren has finished off the scout and spotted everyone, which he does
flashback: 3 enemies flanking our main characters, moving behind their positions
flashback: 3 enemies crouching towards our 3 main characters from behind
flashback: 3 enemies killing our main characters

... few seconds silence

Engineer: well somehow they must have gotten behind us, cause we really should've seen them otherwise

... few seconds silence

Rifleman (disappointed): probably

... few seconds silence

Scout: Well try to be positive, it would've been a very nice ambush, and next time we won't make that same mistake again
Grenadier: True, ... true
Scene: camera rotates 180° so its position is once again in front of them, looking past them to main base, where all NF buildings have been destroyed, 10 BE engies are building up a line of lvl3 mg turrets, and a wall of BE heavy and medium tanks are standing there waiting to fire at our main characters
Scout: Ssst, shut up guys, i think i heared something, keep an eye on that city. Something is about to happen.
scene: all turrets get finished at the same time and start shooting, while all tanks fire all their weapons directly towards the camera

 

It's ok, but it kinda stretches on too long.

Was thinking more along the lines of:

*theme music*

MEET THE NF ENGINEER

Be Engy sitting in the open.
Engy: Oh hey, the NF guy couldn't show up today. He called in sick. So instead, I'm going to read out knock-knock jokes for the next 4 minutes!
*Nf engy runs in panting and shotguns the BE engineer as he enters*
NF engy: Haha. That was a close one comrade. PASS ZE WODKA!
*Play theme music*

 

*Davee hopes to god he never see's Empty doing standup in real life

 

"So have you guys heard any good jokes lately?"

*Empty gestures towards audience, whips out a revolver and starts shooting*

"Why aren't you laughing! This is supposed to be funny!"

*gunning down audience as they attempt to escape the comedy*

 

It's 1am and my eyes hurt. I was illustrating it should be short and sweet rather than long.

 

Wheres teh amm0z!?!?