Something I saw got me the idea of staring this. Any good funny stories of where you work or go to school? Ill a couple to start of my funnies ones. At work. "Thank you for calling Verizon DSL Tech support this is Robert how can I help you?"I say. "Yes I am calling to rescedual my dispatch.",says the customer "Ok thats not a problem. Can I ask why you need to rescedual?"' I ask. "I receaved a voice mail saying they where needing to cancle the dispatch because they had no way to call me" , I believe the customer says. "Im sorry what was that?", I ask in disbelief. "They called to cancle becasue they had no way to call me.", says the customer sounding amused. Im in start to wonder if this is a prank becasue of the custoemrs attitude. I ask, "They called you, to cancel because, they could not call you?", "Thats it!" says the actualy starting to laugh. "Ok let me check this.", I say with disbeleafe in my voice. I pull up the notes to our matince logs. Sure enough they even documented it! I say, "Oh my god thats.. Why... Thats so stupid!" By this time the the custoemr is laughing his head off. I start to laugh along with him. "Oh god Im so sorry about this. Let me rescedual this for you.", I say. "Not a problem." says the customer between laughs. "I am just glad some one else agrees with me." At school Setting: School Time:four years ago My physical science teacher could never stand me. She always consided me a show off and know it all. I probably was ast my favoret subject in school was science. I didnt like her becasue she was layze, unprofessional and two faced infront of other teachers. This happend during a refresher course before we started a small course in harmonics. Not my only story of her but one of my funniest "Can you have sound on the moon?" says my teacher as she drones on reading from the teachers guide. I get a grin at such a stupid question she obviously doesnt know her self. "Alright Robert since you have that smirk why dont you answer. "Yes you can." The teacher smiles and says "No your wrong. There is no air so there can not be sound." I pip up saying, "Yes there can be, in a form and I can prove it. Its rather easy" Some classmates make some cracks about Dexter and a space ship. "Oh realy? And how is that?", says my teacher now visably mad sitting at her desk. "Just some basic facts that every one knows.", I say getting attention of alot of people in class. "And what would thouse be?", says my teacher sarcasticly. "Easy. The moon is made of rock. A solid state of matter. For sound all you need is matter to trasmit the sound waves." The whole class go silent "Wrong." says my teacher visably simmering. "You have to have air for sound. Now if your quite done, we need to finish reviewing." The class is silent at this as even the jocks are able to figure out what I had just said and a few people start snickering and laughing. I take this as a sighn its good for one last jab. "Ok if thats what you beleave but by that definition whales, dolfins and lots of people in the navy are psychic." My teacher lost it demanding I leave the class. She had me report to the principleto have me reprimanded for "insubordination" and disruting class. I repeated the conversation to him and he couldnt stop from laughing. Got off with just a waring not to do it again.:D I know every one else has to have some good ones.
The Browns were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a >> surrogate father to start their family. >> On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his wife and >> said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon." >> Half an hour later, just by chance, Roger, a door-to-door baby >> photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning >> madam, I've come to..." >> "Oh, no need to explain, I've been expecting you," Mrs Brown cut in. >> "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well good! I've made a specialty of >> babies." >> "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." >> After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" >> "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the >> couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometime the living room floor is >> fun too... you can really spread out!!" >> "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." >> "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we >> try several different positions and shoot from six or seven angles, I'm >> sure you'll be pleased with the results." >> "My, my, that's a lot of..." gasped Mrs Brown. >> "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in >> and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." >> "Don't I know it," Mrs Brown muttered. >> The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his >> baby pictures. >> "This was done on top of a bus." >> "Oh my gawd!!" Mrs Brown exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. >> "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their >> mother was so difficult to work with." >> "She was difficult?" asked Mrs Brown. >> "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job >> done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to >> get a good look." >> "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs Brown, eyes widened in amazement. >> "Yes" the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The >> mother was constantly squealing and yelling, I could hardly concentrate!! >> Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the >> squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." >> Mrs. Brown leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your >> um....equipment?" >> "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that >> we can get to work." >> "Tripod??" >> "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big >> for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she's fainted!!!"
in sociology in highschool, the teacher was talking about africain in the 1300's. When i said "those people are not african americans" her whole face went ghost white then bright red and she looked at me with eyes from the pits off hell and said "then what, exactly, do you think they should be called?" so i calmly replied "well, because america was not found by the europeans until around 1500, and not named america until some time after that, and because the country of "the united states of amrica" was not fromed for about 300 years after that, and because these people have lived in africa their whole lives, they should be called africans." that was one of my favorite speaches ever to give. in daycare i once got in a fight and kicked a kid. when the teacher broke the fight up she had me by the wrist and said "you kicked him, are you gunna kick me? hu? kick me, common, kick me," and when i kicked her i got in so much trouble she had to call my mom to pick me up. when mom got there and i told her what happened (and the teacher said that that is indeed what happened) my mom just laughed in here face and took me out to get ice cream.
My mom would have beaten my ass with a broom then make me knell on rice if I ever kicked a teacher back when I was younger.
lol, that teacher must be pissed. I can picture she's teaching the last class of the day, and you can be just eating icecream through a window in the back, grinning... my story: 3 chemistry ones... it runs in the family, and a mate of mine. me: our school was great, because on friday you got to use all the chemicals you liked to make whatever you liked, as long as it was practical. most people revised. but not this lot. yeah, they were smart. very smart. but a slight lack of... common sense? they made nitroglycerine (AKA dynamite). that's fine, but the way they made it ends up with the substance being aqueous;- a solution in water. and how do they get rid of the water? evaporation. obviously. i just gotta wonder which smart one of them suggested using a bunsen burner to boil off the water, amid the nitro glycerine. bright idea: put a flame under nitroglycerine. the teacher found out just as the water was begining to simmer, we were all evacuated, and allegedly, there was enough there to take out the whole two story science department. my dad's story: in his day, they had giant blocks of potassium to use in the science department. to demonstrate it's incredible reactive power, his absent minded teacher took out the heavy block (about 5 kg), got a tub of water (which it reacts with), cut off a tiny chunk with a scalpel, and then dropped the rest of the entire lump into the water.... my mate also apparently had a teacher (different school) that tried to cover a smoke alarm up with a condom, released chlorine gas from an unexploaded bomb into the science room, and set fire to a pupil. i dunno how much of it was true... but my friend seemed to genuinely believe it
Our chemistry teacher; who is pregnant, used to send only girls out. All of the guys in the class would be left in... So after a while the entire class started chanting "Sexist" to our chemistry teacher; while the VP was there... Short to say we made her cry... (And this is a senior class as well, lol)
That's wierd, the exact same thing happened at my school, except with sodium. They had to replace several ceiling tiles. :D
0.o How did these teachers get to teach science? I know not to do that kind of crap in 5th grade. Then again not many 5th graders had read Anarchist Cookbook and considered it a joke book....:p
we made smoke bombs from that book, and set em off for our german exchange students. seems like we got it wrong, because as soom as the fuse ran out, one of the bombs shot up the garden at us, then between as lot, and hit his house... filling the garden with smoke - and screams :D
Hey becarefull. What I ment by it being a joke book is that half the stuff is wrong and if you tied to do half the stuff in there you more likly to blow your self up. Or at least loose a hand. I cant rember what there called but one step for something is to take thies sticks used in welding that are mostly oxygen in an unstable form and then grind it with a morter and pedistal:eek:
