Scripts wanted!

Discussion in 'Worldbuilding' started by Broccoli, Jan 23, 2007.

  1. Broccoli

    Broccoli Member

    Messages:
    1,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    The next trailer that I will be creating (for 1.08, or whichever release is the public one) will be a more story-driven one than last time. What I mean by story is three to four minutes of cohesive action. So, it could be some kind of short mission. It will (hopefully) be acted by volunteers from the community.

    What I need is a basic script to work from. I know there's some great writers here, so I was wondering if you could help me out. Here are the requirements:
    • There should be no dialogue (with the exception of certain radio commands).
    • It should be action from start to finish.
    • The action should provide the opportunity to show off everything new in the next version.
    • It should involve every class, and preferably the use of their specialist skills, in some way or another.
    • It should not take place on an existing map. Sets will be created for the specific purposes of the trailer.
    • Both factions should be represented fairly (although one will probably gain the upper hand, you can't show an ultimate and crushing defeat on one side over the other).
    • It should be appealing to new players.
    So with that in mind, does anyone have any ideas? If you do, plop them down below and I'll check them out. Naturally, you will be credited if your idea is used.
     
  2. GI-Jane

    GI-Jane Member

    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    OK I had an Idea regarding a map design but after reading this I thought I would transpose the idea which might not actually be mine as I liked a passage I read from the original Empires story by Don Megal.

    and I quote " Borodin let the conversation die with that. He knew the countless islands in the Imperial straits would be ideal for the Northern Faction’s hit and run tactics. Even naval novices would have little trouble in making use of the long retired massive weapons on those rusting hulks in such close quarters environments. By the time the Imperial Navy mobilized and steamed around the world to the straits the Faction positions would be well prepared and waiting. His brother however, with his supreme faith in the strength of the Empire and reliance on state controlled media for information, would fail to understand.
    The explosion tore through the approaching tank like tinfoil in the wind, the anti tank mine beneath is formally frightening treads lifting the Imperial medium tank a full four feet into the air. I pressed myself a bit harder against the sharp glassy rock I had come to love as shrapnel whistled by. Not wanting to loose the shock of an unexpected blast I swung around, the heat of the near by flaming tank searing my blood soaked eyebrows. With a kiss of flame my rifle sent a pair of stunned riflemen to explain their lives to God. Around me my squad mates, both new and old, replicated my actions with similar speed, efficacy, and coolness. Within 30 seconds it was over. The Empire was short one more platoon and a medley of light armor.

    “Make it quick,” I ordered the scavengers already searching their victims for trinkets and, more importantly, food and ammunition. “Brandy will have more on the way.”

    The Imperial hammer had slammed into the Northern Faction’s most brutal, harsh and unforgiving frontier and shattered the hastily erected defenses. Our makeshift lines held for but a fortnight before giving way to what seemed like an endless stream of steel and flesh. Never before nor since had I ever witnessed a greater waste of life and resources, never before had death on such a scale soiled the land. Our positions had been hastily erected but, as countless Jekotians had known through out history, where sound in their locations. By the third day the mountains of Imperial armor shredded on the field of battle had risen so large, aircraft were forced to blast clear a path so that the offensive could continue. Men took cover behind fortifications made of their own fallen comrades and slipped in the rivers of blood leading from their stinking mounds.

    The order to withdraw stood out in my mind. Our new commander, the old one having played catch with a stray artillery shell, spoke over our com just as my bayonet sliced through the neck of my twelfth opponent in as many minutes. I remember smiling and thinking how odd it was to have an easy dozen. I suppose who I had been had long ago died, the remaining creature of war delighting in the kind of peculiar oddities that only combat can produce.
    .......................

    This scenario seems a perfect action set piece and could be done as follows.
    1. A cocky BE force set up a conquering force to attack NF through the hills and valleys including a brutal air force attack on there front lines.
    2. They dont expect NF to have extremely strong and organised defences using lost technology recently discovered in Brok therefore a major push back from NF catches the BE by surprise.
    3. Not knowing exactly What is going to be in the 1.08 release makes it dificult to set out a plan of action but this general storyline is a start if you like.
    What do u think?
     
  3. davee magee

    davee magee Member

    Messages:
    317
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    i take it you still want to demonstrate the features of empires as well?

    i was thinking something along the lines of a simple ambush, but with a twist...i.e its a base being ambushed

    bren are seiging an nf base from a forward command post (a command veh and some turrets, a rax and a vf)

    the nf base should consist something along the lines of a full base, with a few turrets of different levels (to look raggedy), (maybe start the 'film' on a light tank being destroyed?), then show the turrets exploding from gren fire and nades.

    the nf will be slowly owned, until the last minute, when a full squad (a rifleman, grenadier, engi and a scout) sneaks into the bren command post and destroys it, each using there specific ablilties. (not necessarily in this order)

    -a scout takes out a guard opening a way in,

    -the bren mines the vf,(outside it so you can see the full glory of a bren heavy tank...being destroyed :D )

    -the rifleman gun down a few guys guarding the rax, leaving the engi to run inside), you might want to cut away at this point, showing the scouts new ability to to sabotage)

    - the engi de-building the rax, (finishing it off with nades)

    -maybe cut to the nf base at this point, as they realize what happening

    -the enemy comm is destroyed, as the engi drops ammo for gren so he can mine it:cool:

    finish with a possible nf come back ?, or bren reinforcements:eek:
     
  4. Broccoli

    Broccoli Member

    Messages:
    1,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I like it magee, my only concern would be that it encourages ninja-ing. Such a tremendous advantage being turned around so easily, and in such a short time, could trivialise some elements of the game. But it would work with a larger counter-attack force. So, for example, a couple of heavies roll in from over the hills, and send the BE forces running scared.

    Jane: Your idea is good too. I think it really sums up the attitude of each faction. That passage is very story-heavy, but elements of it will definitely be usable. Taking place on the front lines would be a really tense and atmospheric place to do it, I think.

    I don't think aircraft will be available in this patch. But I could always put in the suggestion that it will be available in the future (for example, a mocked up BE dropship take-off, or the sound of jets overhead).
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2007
  5. Private Sandbag

    Private Sandbag Member

    Messages:
    7,491
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    My idea is a mix of ideas from other cutscenes, so you may be able to recognise some of them.




    30 second scene:
    setting: one of the side ramps for the north three refs

    some BE are defending the top of a hill, using riflemen and grenadiers to lay down fire, behind a semi circle of walls, and with a lev 2 mg, and an engineer finishes a ML. several NF rush with nades and machineguns, but are cut down. one of the forward men, out of the semi circle yells "INCOMING", and a cluster of artilliary shells land around the position, destroying the lev 2 and killing another (who is revived, in first person by the engineer.) just at that moment, the NF attack again larger, swamping and destroying the BE and the ref they were guarding. one scout is left, using hide and hiding behind a rock, observes through binoculars as the NF remove the ramaining walls and set up their own base.

    another (one that actually happened); starting with the view of a rifleman running along the top of one of the ridges of duststorm is shot at by a scout (on the ridge opposite, across the center area). he looks and finds cover, but is totally pinned down. each time he looks up, the scout takes a shot at him, but he can't quite get a visual. the commander, from his perspective, orders another two other men around around on the flank to take the scout out.


    another; it's district. a player takes down a few enemies with his rifle guarding the main flag, and runs ahead, while his squad sets up at the flag. the main guy runs ahead, and is shot at and a grenade goes off beside him. as he rushes for cover, he see's two enemies emerge from one of the alleys and start spraying him, though he get's to cover. he witnesses an intense battle for a couple of seconds, before two of his own riflemen appear by the flag and spray back at the enemies. the injured guy runs back to the flag, using the covering fire provided by his teammates.

    don't know, can you use any of these?
     
  6. davee magee

    davee magee Member

    Messages:
    317
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    i see your point... ill rethink it

    probably something along the lines of what you said, only have the bren heavy tanks, cus they look much better :)

    remember, if your trying to sell a game, you dont have to show them everything... just the good bits :)

    nice stuff there sandbag...
     
  7. Broccoli

    Broccoli Member

    Messages:
    1,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Very good sandbag, they would all make very nice scenes. Although they wouldn't be filmed on the maps you suggested, similar settings could be created. Keep it up guys!
     
  8. Private Sandbag

    Private Sandbag Member

    Messages:
    7,491
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    there should definately be a scene where a squad is running across a patch of open ground, towards their team leader, in the entrance to a structure (this could be in the central bit of crossroads). the squad leader yells at them to hurry up, they all make it except the trailing scout. just at that moment, a med tank comes from offscreen on the right and runs down the trailing scout. the rest of the squad all hide behind a wall, while the tank circles a bit, they all move around to be constantly out of sight.

    then switch to the tank view. he looks at a doorway. looks to the right. looks back at the doorway and there's a gren with a rocketlauncher standing there. he fires and destroys the tank.
     
  9. Trid3nt

    Trid3nt Member

    Messages:
    2,155
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I was thinking a sort o failed attack, then a building base (showing start of game) then a huge battle.
     
  10. Private Sandbag

    Private Sandbag Member

    Messages:
    7,491
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    here's a scene:

    a scout scans a scene before him with his binoculars, spots a small batallion of tanks. There is a heavy, flanked with lights or meds on each side and an arty at the rear. the tanks are just in visible range, with a trail of smoke behind them.

    he turns, signals, perhaps yelling "armour spotted, let's move up" (those are two available commands). he then goes to his jeep, and is jumping in the drivers seat of one of his group of jeeps (4 jeeps total). the rest have grenadiers in the sideseat, though his has a rifleman(?).

    the jeeps then either jump off the cliff, or go down a slope, and find themselves charging the tank battalion head on.

    the arty is the first to fire, and hits directly ahead of the first jeep- they drive on through the smoke of the explosion. then, just as they see the tanks start to fire, they begin to open fire with their rocket launchers. there is a huge trade of rockets, similar to two sailing ships trading broadsides. 2 of the jeeps continue to fire rockets, the other use mowtar, and you see the scene from a distance; the rockets flying and the mortars and artilliary shell trading in the air.

    quickly, the two groups are together. just before meeting, the rocketeer from one of his jeeps guides his zigzagging rocket into the front of a tank, and then drives just around to the left. the view shifts to the heavy tank (BE, perhaps), who uses his twin railguns one after another like a machinegun to quickly chase with crosshair, catchup and destroy the jeep that had just fired.

    while two other jeeps go around the right side, destroying their med tank, the another skids between the two remaining tanks, and gets a shot off at the artilliary. the two others that went around the side now hit the arty too, destroying it. as two jeeps on the right (looking from where the jeeps came from) curve around, one of them does a longer curve and another cuts right infront of heavy (which has now turned around, following the jeep that went between them), and get's bashed by the heavy and knocked over. the driver is imidiately killed, and the rocketeer backpedals, frantically trying to reload.

    the last view is from that rocketeers perspective, of the front bumper of a heavy tank... and the screen goes black.



    it would probably only take about 45 seconds, with 5 second cuts.
     
  11. Trid3nt

    Trid3nt Member

    Messages:
    2,155
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I think the 'empires' screen should appear after an explosion on screen.
     
  12. Broccoli

    Broccoli Member

    Messages:
    1,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Yup, that would make a nice opening sequence sandbag.

    Talking of logos, does the team have any kind of name/logo that I could put at the start of the trailer? I heard someone mention "Brenodi Designs".
     
  13. GI-Jane

    GI-Jane Member

    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    [​IMG]

    Jus an idea for your logo?

    Oh an maybe do a set piece in the city on Cyclopean cetre'd round a Downed dropship.
    NF are scavenging parts , guarding the dropship, jeep light and arty in background.
    BE are looking for there downed aircraft, 2 squads searching city.
    scouts and riflemen in jeeps with lite + medium in convoy.
    Scout spots downed aircraft and calls in via Binocs ...
    riflemen attack NF from rooftops whilst BE tanks converge on lites and arty..
    NF retreat thru city to comm vehicle with engys building a baraks and turrets but BE assault is merciless and the last NF lite tank goes up in a blazre of Glory....
    or summat like that?
     
  14. Shinzon

    Shinzon Member

    Messages:
    3,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I think it would be best if official maps were used so that the players new to the mod due to the trailer can say "Hey I know this place!" and already get some sort of attachment....
     
  15. Broccoli

    Broccoli Member

    Messages:
    1,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Do you think so?

    What would be better then, a concentrated story taking place in one location (on one map) or shorter scenes taking place across a variety of maps? Bear in mind that the shorter the scenes are, the less chance there is to develop a real storyline.

    I am hoping to use the main menu music at some point, so the link should be obvious from the start.
     
  16. Private Sandbag

    Private Sandbag Member

    Messages:
    7,491
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    hmm... yeah, we really do want this to be one storyline. the problem with that is that it only showcases one map: which to choose?! my choice would be duststorm, but it's really tough. Isle would be a good one.


    Also: on an important note- if this trailer is going to be out with the public realease of 1.08 then we're going to need to get started. I imagine we can merge the bug testing that krenzo planned with the filming of this. but the earlier the better. still, we need a story line to get started.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    so; storyline bones:
    -black, sounds of battle. Fade into the last survivors finally clearing up an enemy assault.
    -rebuilding the base
    -squading up, etc
    -destroying their army
    -attacking their base
    -Winning?
    you follow the NF, attacked by the BE.?

    I was thinking for the final moments of it, the attackers have just destroyed an enemy building or two, when some heavy enemy tanks appear behind the attacking army. one of the NF is like, "quick, the enemy command vehicle. we destroy that and this is over!"

    something along those lines.
     
  17. Broccoli

    Broccoli Member

    Messages:
    1,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I don't think this will be out in parallel at all. It will probably be a few weeks minimum before this is done. But that won't be a problem, as this trailer will be mainly focused at the publicised release that will be following 1.08. Hopefully it will be done either by then, or shortly afterwards.

    As for combining this with bug testing, I don't think that would be as effective as regular playtesting. Only trusted people will be allowed to participate in the filming, which could take as long as an hour (rehearsals included).


    But as you said, first we need a story-line.

    I think the progression from infantry combat to the big guns of the tanks is a fairly obvious one, which is why I hope to include this as a general theme throughout. This would also naturally lead on to the introduction of an aircraft teaser in the closing scene.

    The location will be a tricky one. Personally, I'd rather shoot on a custom-made set. That way there will be complete control over what happens, as well as being able to trigger certain events (collapsing walls/towers anyone?) exactly when you need them. It could also be made much more visually demanding than an ordinary map, without worrying about lag.

    Is this misleading the viewer to believe that the whole game is like this? Well, possibly. But it's advertising, after all.


    Here is my take on a few people's different suggestions:
    • The scene opens on a northern faction outpost, inside a hut, with several soldiers gathered around a map.
    • There's a huge explosion outside, and they rush to the door (the camera pans out of one of the windows).
    • Just outside the compound, several Brenodi jeeps are approaching with grenadiers launching rpg's from the passenger seats.
    • Cut to a shot of the gates, where engineers are just completing 2 ML turrets.
    • The turrets open fire, and two BE riflemen escape the jeeps just as they explode.
    • The BE soldiers are shot down by NF riflemen up in the lookout towers.
    • Meanwhile, a scout is hiding in the hills to the rear of the complex. He stands, to reveal himself. The view is shown through his binoculars, as he pans from tower to tower, observing the distracted lookouts.
    • His view finally settles upon the NF barracks, and calls in some artillery on his target.
    • Cut to some Brenodi artillery, out of sight, behind the hills to the rear. An engineer is with them, and places an ammo box.
    • One by one, the artillery open fire.
    • Cut back to the outpost, where all is silent. A soldier is resupplying in an armory, and hears the rumble of the distant artillery. He steps outside, and looks up just in time to see the first shell whistle into the compound right next to him. His body is sent flying.
    • Move to a wide shot, where the whole outpost can be seen hurrying around. Soldiers are climbing down from the towers, and engineers are desperately running to repair buildings. All the while, more shells can be seen coming from the distant hills.
    • One tower is hit, and collapses upon a stationary light tank, destroying it.
    • The BE scout continues to pick off survivors with his rifle.
    • Soldiers run to their vehicles: 2 light tanks and an APC, and take off towards the gate in a formation with the command vehicle at the centre.
    • The convoy bursts through the gate, driving directly over the camera. The view of a collapsing outpost, several men still inside, is the last thing you see. The artillery have stopped, but smoke pours from every area of the ruined base. Fade to black.

    • Fade in to an open, grassy plain. The convoy is moving in a straight line, when a shell explodes to one side, forcing one of the light tanks to swerve.
    • The people manning the turrets spin around, to see a heavy Brenodi tank, flanked by two AFV's, pursuing in the distance.
    • The two light NF tanks peel off, and turn to approach the oncoming threat.
    • The APC skids to a stop, and lets out 2 engineers from the back, before taking off after the CV once more.
    • The two light tanks are within range of the enemy by now, and open fire.
    • A tank battle ensues, whilst the two NF engineers struggle to set up a wall and two ML turrets.
    • One of the light tanks manages to take out an AFV, but is destroyed by the heavy shortly afterwards.
    • One of the turrets is completed, and opens up on the heavy. One NF engineer runs away from the safety of the wall (to build the other turret), but is gunned down by the heavy's chain gun.
    • The turret finishes off the heavy.
    • The remaining engineer runs to his pal. The camera is at a side-on angle, from which we can see the remaining AFV driving at full pelt towards the running engineer.
    • Just before he is hit, the remaining light tank comes from the side of the screen, and rams the AFV right in the side (flipping it, if possible). The drivers exit, and finish off the escaping crew.
    • The engineer revives his pal, and they call for a pickup. The APC returns, with the CV, and picks up the survivors. The turrets are recycled, the tank repaired, and all three vehicles drive off.
    • Camera pans to a sign, reading "Caution: Mines". The BE scout hiding next to it unhides, and uses the "I need armor support" radio command.
    • Fade to black.

    From here, I don't know what would happen. The convoy would somehow escape in the end, with their pursuers being decimated by an unexpected resistance from the NF.

    EDIT: Wow, long post.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2007
  18. DonMegel

    DonMegel Member

    Messages:
    1,368
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I actually had been thinking of a series of scenes that would prolly work better for the aircraft relese.

    - close up, ground level view of a flower groing in a desert enviroment, endless blue sky behind with stringy white clouds. Flower gently sways in the breeze as music spins up or monolog plays. Soon flower is crushed by tank treds.
    - Camera cuts to wider angeled view to show an entire BE armored convoy driving through a vally kicking up dust on thier way to somewhere.
    - View of convoy turns out ot be reflection off of NF binoculars that we see as a scout lowers them, camera sees his top half and then the sky beyond.
    - camera cuts to level of BE convoy, mid way back, looking up towards the ridge with the scout silloetted agasint the skyline, a tiny flicker of the sun bouncing off his binoculars.
    - camera cut to show most of the convoy from above at an angle as it breaks ranks and form up for an advnace or to counter a ambush. Camera cuts to show diffrent aspects of the BE vehicals and lower angles, some pans, turret rotations, wheels turning, soldiers hoping out of jeeps, etc.
    - Camera cuts back to scout but now a wider shot showing him fully silloetted agasint the sky, the ridge being seen at the bottom of the shot.
    - The loud whine of aircraft engines can be heard as the scout in the foreground goes out of focus and an NF gunship rises directly behind him.
    - cut to wide shot far overhead to show the ridge and the now scarmling convoy as three gunships cross the ridge and sweep low into the vally to make an attack run.
    - cut to ground level at the BF convoy with chaos taking hold as men scramble and tanks begin moving, trying ot get away, the approaching gunships in the background. Streaks come from all three aircraft that hit behind and around the tanks and explode (missles)
    - cut to cam following close behind and above gun ships as they approach, opening up on the convoy with thier guns, traces seen.
    - cut to angled shot of convoy, bout 30 foot off the ground, from side of gunship approach, traces hitting all over, cutting down infantry and tearing apart jeeps and APCs.
    - cut to zoomed in shot of a gunship's gattlin turret in slow motion as it fires off rounds and ejects spend casings. Then cut to ground level looking stright up at a single silloeted gunship with sun shining down around aircraft, casings falling directly atop camera.
    - cut back to wide angled shot of convoy, with gunships close over head laying down fire, far enoguh back to see entire convoy, gunships, and ridge line in the back ground, bout 50 feet off ground, normal speed. running around for a moment with death from above when a pair of streaks ceom from camera right and hit one of the gunships which instantly exlpode in a brillaint fireball.
    - cut to chase cam mounted on tail of Emp fighter showing entire craft as it flys toward the battle.
    - cut to ground level, ridge behind the camera but with convoy, smoking and some still running, and NF gunships in view, also turning to run away. Squadran of emp fighters coming in fast from background, missles fly out and destroy another gunship as the last one exits the screen camera left.

    ofcourse this would go on and on untill all the aircraft are featured. Prefrably Id like ot have the opening shots with some underwhelming music, maybe sad singing french lady from the 1940s, but then gradually come into larger music such as ride of the valkeries (not that one as it is too used, but somthing grand like it.)
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2007
  19. Simon

    Simon Banned

    Messages:
    638
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    One thing we should do is make it as educational as possible. Show engineers grenading turrets and building stuff. And whatnot. You know.
     
  20. Shinzon

    Shinzon Member

    Messages:
    3,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    That sounds like it would better of rendered using some sort of software then ingame footage :p
     

Share This Page