Best of McGyver 2008 - 2015, A Compilation

I have to make a confession.

Beeing a moderator isn't all just fun. Where before I had the absolute freedom to post whatever came to my mind, now I have my inner critic that censors everything before I even push the post button.

Where my mind set before was "hah, those fucking kike mods will never dare to delete this", after I got moderation powers it changed to "oh no, I can't post this slightly offensive post as a moderator, I will disappoint those who put trust in me".


Let's face it:
My rebellious, creative phase is over. So I do as every artist who has run out of ideas, I will make a best of compilation of my critically acclaimed work.

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I proudly present
McGyver
The Best of The Best
A Compilation
With Exclusive Comments​

Treatise about the Impossibility of Off Topic
http://forums.empiresmod.com/showthread.php?t=18274

Where I logically pwn Candles.
My most intellectual piece of work. I was knee deep into philosphy at the time and found it applies to this forum very well.




Which phone for the Führer?
http://forums.empiresmod.com/showthread.php?t=17638

Where I recommend a smartphone to a famous Austrian statesman.
A classic. I take the usual tech recommendation cliche and mix it with political incorrectness. The crowd went crazy.




An open letter to myself
http://forums.empiresmod.com/showthread.php?t=18003

Where I write a letter to the smartest person in this community.
As hitting the nail today as when I was writing it. Timeless.




What feelings do you have when visiting these forums?
http://forums.empiresmod.com/showthread.php?t=15962

Where I explore the emotional burden this forum puts upon us.
All emotions have been replaced by eternal numbness nowadays.




Imagine everyone from this community on a plane. It crashes...
http://forums.empiresmod.com/showthread.php?t=16611

Where I explain the options of surviving a plane crash.
Cannibalism is a taboo in our society and I did my best to whet someones appetite.





My time in exile. An autobiografic report.
http://forums.empiresmod.com/showthread.php?t=17555

Where I explain the traumatizing experience of being banned.
I will never forget the terrible feeling of being at the mercy of someone else's power. Nowadays these memories are what cheer me up when I ban someone.




Haswell is coming!
http://forums.empiresmod.com/showthread.php?t=17693

Where we discuss the advantages of cleavage.
Back in those days, Haswell processors were the shit. I was young and naive and thought that Intel would revolutionize the market.




Test: How masculine are your forum posts?
http://forums.empiresmod.com/showthread.php?t=18566

Where I am recognized as the most alpha in this community.
I wrote this in a time when the community was on the verge of turning into a gay date site. I used this scientific test to remind everone who should penetrate whom.




Empires fitness thread
http://forums.empiresmod.com/showthread.php?t=17595

Where I try to make the community more fit.
I was worried about the physical health of several community members at the time. Also I wanted to improve my body to get more chicks.




So Austria won the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest
http://forums.empiresmod.com/showthread.php?t=18524

Where Austria makes the biggest comeback since 1945
An early attempt to get a discussion about the maximum image size on this board going.

 

One day you will look back on these posts and think "jesus fuck how did I have so much fucking time and WHY DID I WASTE IT ALL".

On-topic: I liked the FührerPhone thread

 

We'll get you help, one day. One day. Probably. Maybe. Yeah.

 

Oh Spartacus, your jellyness is an honour, you are the Salieri to my Mozart-like genius.

 

Whart happened?

 

'2008-2015'. Most of that happened during or after 2012, and only one happened before I started lurking the forums every now and then in early 2012.

We are truly in the golden age.

 

This one because of the sheer, un-abashed cheek of it all.

 

so meta tho

 

It just keeps getting better, I imagine there is some kind of Moore's law for it - that eventually there will be some kind of glass ceiling but it never comes.

"my time in excile" made me cry, not manly tears either. I wept like a puppy that lost its mother.

 

At least this forum had style while being shit, but this is just pure unstyled shit, it's a shitheap.

 

One could also blame overuse of citizen citations.

 

Or one could ban all yall asses for dat passive aggressive behavior. Cut yo shit.

 

Here, fooshi knows how to gif.

 

I never took you for the delusional type.

 

If you stopped fucking up the game, maybe people wouldn't resort to such things.