So on rare occasions I see newer players have to take on the reins of the command vehicle, and this usually doesn't go very well. Sometimes, part of the reason this doesn't go well is not because of a necessarily poor performance, but rather that they get frustrated with the more well-seasoned populace. Here's a little-known fact: That seasoning? It's hatred. Not just any passing hatred, it's been refined over years of bad experiences and sometimes one has a bit more of that special seasoning than usual. And it spreads. Anyway, that's not what I want to talk about. What do I mean be nice to your comm? Well, I would start by saying "just be a good person". But... To be a good person you wouldn't be here right now. You wouldn't play Empires either. You would spend your free time going to the local food pantry and volunteering. So you pry your fingers off your mouse (with a great deal of effort) and you haul yourself down to the good ol' homeless eatery. "Hey, how can I help?" "Oh, how kind of you! Well, we have community volunteer days on Saturdays and we need people on Wednesday evenings" "Ah... Well, see, I was kinda hoping to help, uh, more in the money way? Less in the time way? Poor people weird me out" "..." "... Guess I'll be going then" Okay. So you failed to be a good person. Now you can play Empires. But the question remains: "How do you be nice to your commander?". Step 1: Don't Be Accusatory Instead of asking "Why don't we have a radar yet?! Are you some kind of retarded fuck monkey?!", say "We need to get a radar". This tells them what they need to do without making them feel unwanted or under pressure. I have seen people quit in frustration in this fashion. Step 2: Be Understanding So they didn't know where DU MG was. That's fine, in fact it's quite normal especially considering it's not like it advertises itself very well. Explain it to them calmly. Do not take this opportunity to call them a retarded fuck monkey. Step 3: Avoid Insults The more you insult a commander, the less they want to command again. For example, don't call them a retarded fuck monkey. Unless they're a masochist. Typically, you can tell the difference by looking at their steam profile and seeing how many hours they have in Empires. More than 200 hours? Masochist. Done. Step 4: Positive Reinforcement Assuming as in Step 3 that they have less than 200 hours, try thanking them for their efforts when they do what they needed to or congratulating them on any wins. If they don't win, that's fine (See Step 5). Thank them for taking the CV when nobody else would. Step 5: Don't Blame/Harass When Things Go Wrong Sometimes, you lose a game. It's not the end of the world. You may feel that this was due to your commander's inexperience or choices. You are probably even right. Take this opportunity to take a deep breath (not into your microphone). Now you may explain to them how things went wrong. This explanation should not be "because you're a retarded fuck monkey". Bonus: I've discovered it also helps to not send a friend request to the person with ill intent. Don't friend them for the express purpose of sending them images such as the ones below: Well I hope this guide helps you all understand how to be nice to your commander. I have found these tips to be extremely helpful in my otherwise treacherous ventures in life and I sincerely hope we all take something away from this.
I tend to be a bit more passive aggressive with vet comms who decide doing dumb things is the best course of action then proceed to give the team shit when it falls through but I try my best with new players/comms. Does this make me a retarded fuck monkey?
It is acceptable to take a harsher stance on vet comms. They are after all masochists and probably wouldn't be here if they didn't enjoy it.
I feel like I do these things but like once. And then I go masochist mode. Ive only had 1 noob comm who really didnt knwo what he was doing the last months, and that guy learned pretty good after i repeteadly yelled at him what to get.
so youre admitting to griefing your team when someone is mean to you? Better watch out or the nubs admins might come ban u
Those moments when one has researched the whole research tree, and people still complain about shit research
