Weightlifting/Bodybuilding Advice Thread [SRSBZNS Edition]

Alright nigs, I'm bored so I'll start a srs thread. I will only troll in fitness-unrelated manner.

Also I know a couple of you fagboiz lift too so, report in cunts.

Good resources:

http://simplesciencefitness.com/

http://liamrosen.com/fitness.html

TO BE ADDED LATER

Routine charts:

[img]https://i.imgur.com/ze4AspK.gif[/img]

[img][noparse]https://i.imgur.com/oKTpAxD.gif[/noparse][/img]

ASK AWAY PHAGGOTS.

 

how to not be skeleton

 

Eat more calories than you expend.

NEXT

 

Don't get too fat though. That's offensive here.

 

if working out is a way to stay healthy, is bodybuilding a way to compensate for a perceived flaw?

the fuck are you talking about

 

He posted Dobson pictures and candles took them down.
Basically extra more cringy bullshit than he usually posts.

 

are yer tellin me candles is one of dem social justice whatevers?

 

No, he advocates that fucking dobson inflation fetish pictures are creepy as fuck.

 

Starting strength is really good if you're new to it all. Low-rep stuff is easy to progress with, and coupled with not eating/drinking shit, you'll find you get in much better shape very quickly. You won't look ripped or anything, but it'll stop you looking fat/skinny. It usually only requires 3 sessions a week and those sessions only take like 20-30 mins, which is fucking great. Just watch shit loads of videos to get your technique right, get people to help you IRL if necessary. That's more important than anything. I seriously fucked my leg up for about a year by doing retard squats, and even now 2 years later, I can still feel the weakness in that leg if I ever exert it in that way.

Once you're done with that (6 months?) you can start going onto some more advanced routines. I don't really go as far as a lot of the ones above where you're constantly trying to increase the weights by logging your progress and stepping it up each set etc. When you start off, you'll have this (pride based) opinion of "I don't care about how I look, I just want to be stronger". It's bullshit, you just want to look good, that's the only reason anyone goes in the gym. So really, once you start training properly, you're just focused on exerting yourself as much as possible so you know you're improving your physique.

Seriously recommend sprint training, or just general high-heartrate circuits that make you get a sweat on. If you can get up in a morning, spend 20-30 minutes doing something like that until you're hanging out, then avoid eating for a few hours, it literally just strips fat off you. All this "can't do cardio and lifting" shit is just something put out there by people who don't want to do running. I mean, don't start doing long distance running because that is detrimental to what you want to achieve, but sprint training (8 sets of 30 seconds as fast as you possibly can, 90 secs rest in between for example) and other shit doesn't really have the negative effects of that, and it helps gives you the stamina you're going to want.

Also don't listen to what anyone (BJ) says. If you have access to drugs that will help with this kind of thing, fucking use them. Obviously some of the better ones are pretty expensive (HGH), so it might not be viable for you to go in that direction financially, but even straight up testosterone roids, a single course once you're properly training is like an insane boost to what you're doing. Things like this allow you to train harder, more frequently, and get the most out of your actual training. Although, keep in mind it's worth being at the point where you're training properly (5-6 days a week, upto twice a day) by the time you start using this kind of thing. Also, be careful of fat burners. Shit like Clenbuterol and T3/5s are really nasty if not used properly, and they just generally make you feel horrible. If you've been training a while and you want to go through a cut-phase, maybe you can go for it, but trying to lose actual fat from them isn't worth it, it's just too unpleasant.

 

Yeah they kind of do.

 

Fuck training to be in shape. Lets train for the ego and the bitchs. Swag Yolo life style.

 

If you're stuck at a certain amount, try changing it up a bit. Do 7 reps where your arms are as close to you as possible, 7 normal, then 7 wide. Try spiderman pushups in which you have 1 hand forward, one hand back, and swap it up on each rep. There are a few others like seal pushups and push-claps, but one of the best ones is the slow rep. Try 5 seconds down and 5 seconds up for a single push up. That really helps.

Oh, and maybe start doing some planking for 60 secs or so. If your core is stronger than it won't put all the strain into your arms for holding you, so it'll help you in that way.

 

Even if you've plateaued, it's better to maintain a healthy habit than give it up.

It's not all about gains (unless you're trickster and you need to get laid, then it is). Sometimes you just want to be healthy.

 

trickster have you ever tricked someone in thinking you were a girl (cause you have tiny little balls)

 

Shower in the morning you sick weirdo.

 

Hey BJ, can we skip the crap and you start telling us how to get laid?