Mrdie Escapes From Captors 8:59 PM Shot in the ass, stabbed in the back, and being raped in the ass with a shovel did not stop Mrdie from escaping later this night from his captors. Live on BTV (Blackhole TV), Mrdie tells us what happend. "My fellow Blackholers, forgive me for my facial expression, for I cannot help it, as having a shovel shoved violently up your ass tends to hurt. A day ago, I was pulled over by the side of the road, I asked the officer why I was being pulled over. Sadly, the officer had a black trench coat on, causing me to scream and drive my car into a lake. After waking up, I realised I was in a padded cell. A man named Toburakalurdar appeared and demanded that I list a single thing Jimmy Carter did in his Presidency that was benefical to the United States. I complyed, stating that the Department of Education was one good thing. He screamed at me and called me an evil liberal, and then proceeded to violate my anus with a shovel he called Bob. He then proceeded to shoot me in the ass with an unknown World War I era pistol, and stab me in the back with a millitary style knife. Police are still on the look out for this mad man, no dobut. But I am glad to be back. I will now go to the doctor to inquire on the rising costs of surgury for my ass. I would also like to thank the stronger Countrys in the region for creating an off topic area. Thank you all."
lmao Mrdie, that is quite the news report, i fear that uh ur ass will not be fully recovered because i will soon take over