[Guide] How To Make a Great Poll Along With Your [Likely Mediocre] Thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by ImSpartacus, Dec 9, 2012.

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[COLOR="Yellow"]You know it's a great poll if this part doesn't suck[/color]

  1. [COLOR="Green"][SIZE="5"]You can do crazy shit in polls. [/SIZE][/COLOR]

    26.5%
  2. [INDENT][LIST] [*]I'm not kidding, [I]really[/I] insane shit. [/LIST][/INDENT]

    29.4%
  3. :headshot: [U]Smileys work[/U] :love:

    29.4%
  4. [quote]You probably shouldn't do this.[/quote]

    26.5%
  5. [QUOTE=lul;423643]yeah, it all works[/QUOTE]

    26.5%
  6. [CODE]Does intro java make me a coder?[/CODE]

    29.4%
  7. [LIST=1] [*]You [*]Can [*]Act [*]ually [*]Bre [*]ak [*]Sh [*]it [/LIST]

    29.4%
  8. [RIGHT]Even if you don't get the polls, you can format like a God now.[/RIGHT]

    32.4%
  9. [FONT="Garamond"]I hate it when people use weird fonts.[/FONT]

    44.1%
  10. Spartacus is actually a gigantic faggot

    67.6%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. ImSpartacus

    ImSpartacus nerf spec plz

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    You all suck at making polls. I'm here to help you suck less.

    Why should I put a poll in my thread, Mr. Spartacus, sir?

    Because you read this thread.

    Oh handsome Spartacus, how do I make my thread eighteen times better with a poll?

    Whoa whoa whoa, you won't be able to make your thread a full eighteen times better on your first poll. Maybe after a few threads, you'll get some really witty polls that elevate your threads above dog shit and into mediocre, but don't think you can hit god tier without putting in some blood, sweat and tears.

    Of course flawless Spartacus, how can I begin to improve my horrifically impaired threads?

    Since, you're probably from Europe, I'll draw some pretty pictures for you. Try not to get an aneurysm looking at them.

    [​IMG]

    • A This is where the title goes. Because Trickster hates you, this is the only time you will ever get to edit the title. Make it count, or at least try not to fail too miserably. Don't feel like you need to announce that a poll is present. All worthwhile threads threads with polls have special icons to demonstrate that they are better than poll-less threads.
    • B This is where the body of your thread goes. If you need help with this, just stop reading right now. When you notice that the post on your shiny new threads sucks, you will be able to edit it to make it suck less.
    • C This is where you choose an icon to go next to your post. In general, if you can't pick a good one, just go for one of the icons with the kickass glasses.

      C* Your choice ends up here. I don't know why it does that. Maybe you want to look at it for a while or something. ​
    • D Don't fucking hit this button. I don't even know why they put this thing here. In fact, I'm not sure it works at all because I don't use it and neither should you.

    [​IMG]

    • E Uncheck this box. You're writing a thread with shit that people probably don't care about, but I bet they care even less about whatever stupid vomit you shove below each post. And on the off chance that your thread is so pitiful that your signature is more entertaining, you don't want dimwitted Euros looking at your sig instead of your collection of rattlesnake pictures.
    • F Since you're a lazy son of a bitch, you'll probably want to leave this one checked. Just trust me on this one.
    • G If you become a tier three poll crafter, you may need to disable smileys from time to time so the Euros understand your elaborate structure of colons and other phallic punctuation.
    • H Don't use this shit. Trickster and his closest friends use all of their lunch money to keep these forums up. Don't make them carry along your anime collection as well as your bad threads. Use Dropbox or another cloud service and then link to your cat gifs. Do it for Trickster.
    • I I really don't know what this does but you probably don't need to worry about it. Only tools subscribe to threads.
    • J This shit is important. Check this every damn time you make a thread. If you don't check this, everyone will know that you made a poll-less thread and you will never be able to fix it.
    • K This doesn't matter. You will be able to change it later, so don't even bother changing it. Put your limited mental faculties towards something more important.
    • L Hey, you found the one and only new thread button! I know we haven't made the heart and soul of our thread the poll yet, but Trickster can't figure out how to configure a forum, so we actually need to submit a live thread before we can get to the good stuff. Your thread will be completely visible and functional while we work on the poll. Also, your thread is undeletable after this step, so don't end up like this this guy. After you hit this, you'll only be able to edit the settings from B and K. Everything else is set in stone. Don't screw this up.

    [​IMG]

    • M Put your question here. If you're like me, your questions are amazing. Be like me.
    • N You thought I was messing with you, but you really can change the number of poll options from the poll creation screen! ... So now there's no excuse to fuck up, is there?
    • O Use all the typical magical BBcode to make wonderful poll options that don't fucking suck ass. Oh and make ten of them. Every time. Also, make sure they have less than 100 characters or Trickster will cry.

      O* This isn't as much of a suggestion as a challenge. Respond appropriately. ​

    [​IMG]

    • P Don't be a fuckhead. Leave this at 0 so everyone can enjoy your poll forever.
    • Q I will break your legs if you don't check this box.
    • R Your sister will be violated if you don't check this one. And if you don't have a sister, instead you'll have a fifty-fifty chance of having one in nine months. Fucking mark the box or I'll mark the box of the female you love the most.
    • S This is like F. Just leave it alone and it will probably leave you alone.
    • T If you're awesome, leave this unchecked.
    • U Now you can hit this and everyone will be able to see how much you poll sucks. Or maybe you should just spare them the torment? Oh fuck, your thread is already live, remember? You must hit this or you'll never be able to add a poll.

    Honorable Spartacus, I did what you said, but how do I know if I made a poll?

    It'll look better than a thread without a poll. It might even look a little like this:

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Good god, I'm getting hard already. If your poll looks like this one, you dun good, kid.

    Now look at some rattlesnakes, peasants.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2012
    iMacmatician likes this.
  2. Grantrithor

    Grantrithor Member

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    Why does this thread not have a poll? Ban now please.
     
  3. Devourawr

    Devourawr Member

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    There are only two options in the poll;

    1) Ban Spartacus
    2) Ban Spartacus
     
  4. Grantrithor

    Grantrithor Member

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    Ha ha ok I just read the op for realz now lolz i'm multiposting.

    actually I think this is the first time in the history of empires that there has been actual genuine humor put into a thread, 11/10 spartacus.
     
  5. ImSpartacus

    ImSpartacus nerf spec plz

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    Fuck you and your little dog too.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2012
  6. McGyver

    McGyver Experimental Pedagogue

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    Patient, male caucasian in his 20s, shows compulsive obsession with polls in online communities. Thinks he is on a quest to teach people 'how to do polls'. He is not open for a rational conversation about the topic. Has a tendency for aggressive behaviour. Possible dog rapist.
     
  7. ImSpartacus

    ImSpartacus nerf spec plz

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    But my polls fucking rock! And your's can too, if you read my guide!

    ...

    Actually, your polls probably will still be shit, because you aren't me. Soldier on, mediocre pollster!
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2012
  8. .:.HeXi.:. emcalex329

    .:.HeXi.:. emcalex329 Member

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    Oh my God, this is the funniest thread I've read yet. Today at least.
     
  9. Empty

    Empty Member

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    9/10 thread made me giggle.

    I'm tempted to sticky it as a poll tutorial but we can all figure it out already so not really necessary.
     
  10. communism

    communism poof

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    all those pictures pissed my senses off fuck you
     
  11. ImSpartacus

    ImSpartacus nerf spec plz

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    It does have actual information that (at least) Viroman, Metric Mike and I didn't know before now. I remember I made a dummy thread like Metric Mike's a few months ago, but it seems to have been deleted.

    Oh and the guide is more than 1000 words, fun fact.

    Woo hoo for uncompressed PNGs being pixel accurate!
     
  12. Grantrithor

    Grantrithor Member

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    He's not my dog, he's my alt account.
     
  13. ImSpartacus

    ImSpartacus nerf spec plz

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  14. Paradox

    Paradox I am a gigantic asshole who loses people's hard wo

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    This is genius. Speaking of Spartacus and other quality poll.creators!
     
  15. McGyver

    McGyver Experimental Pedagogue

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    Thanks for pointing out that we can use HTML in the poll options. Will make my next poll much more interesting (to look at).
     
  16. ImSpartacus

    ImSpartacus nerf spec plz

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    Ok, so this is a good guide. When is the thread getting stickied?

    [​IMG]
     
  17. Trickster

    Trickster Retired Developer

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    Never. Just to spite you.
     
  18. A-z-K

    A-z-K Member

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    Thread is funny. Not quite as funny as LorDZs response but more informative.
    But for the love of god find the line tool next time.
     
  19. w00kie

    w00kie Mustachioed Mexican

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    could lulzy never closing pools be the reason the "New Posts" feature is broken and the "view post" button is missing through the whole forum?

    I hug this thread.

    But it has forum murdering potential.

    BTW. more then 100 chars in one poll option will exterminate the poll.
     
  20. ImSpartacus

    ImSpartacus nerf spec plz

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    Windows' Snipping Tool doesn't have a line tool.

    A small price to pay for magnificent polls. Polls, I tell you.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2012

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