Empires Pre-History

Discussion in 'Worldbuilding' started by Jessiah, Oct 26, 2009.

  1. Jessiah

    Jessiah Member

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    This is the Way the World Ends - Empires Pre-History

    Edit: I want to keep the writing as clean as possible: when used on an entire sentence, italics means whispering, and bold means yelling. Anything between asterisks is non-dialogue. This is about the ancient event that rent the world apart, as well as an experiment in dialogue heavy writing, using formatting to convey.


    ------------------------ Part One ------------------------

    "You say I'm crazy, every single one of you.

    You say I'm fucked up in the head.

    That I need to be killed before I hurt someone or myself.

    You fools have no idea what's about to happen.

    I don't either, but I do know the planet's angry.

    Something is coming, something big.

    Something unnatural and unstoppable.

    A force of nature, but one we created.

    And it's going to kill us all."



    "That's it, I'm shutting this fucking madman up, give me my sword!"


    ------------------------ Part Two ------------------------

    "Captain, orders from the Commander!"

    "What are they?"

    "You're to send the pike-men back to the city, he suspects the enemy is attacking from the other side."

    "Any force estimations?"

    "The enemy isn't in sight yet, but judging from the rumble of the land, a lot of heavy cavalry, or elephants of war."

    "So they feel it too?"

    "Yes sir. The entire city can feel it. Scouts have been sent into the hills. No report, yet."

    "Bugler, sound the retreat for the pike-men. Chaplain, I want you to lead them."

    "With all due respect, Captain, can the siege engines not hold the hills until we secure the line?"

    "Chaplain, you are a dear friend, but do not question the Commander's judgment. He has seen more campaigns than the both of us ever will. Make haste friend, we will hold this line without you."


    ------------------------ Part Three ------------------------

    "Father, Father! Where are you Father?"

    "In here, what is it my dear?"

    "The temple, the monument, something is wrong! The priests wish you to come right away!"

    "Help me up then."

    "Yes Father."

    "Thank you my dear. Now take me there, Shauna."

    "Yes Father."





    “We can’t find any mention of this in any of our texts, not even the High Priests know what is happening."

    "Just keep everyone back, we do not know what evil is this, or what is to happen here!"

    "William, seal the gates, let only the temple folk and knights to pass through. Richard, go find Shauna and Father Rothwell, he is taking too long.

    "I am here Gareth. And no, I know not what is happening here. But the feeling I have does not bode well. Evacuate the city, something terrible is coming, and none of us can do anything to stop it."


    ------------------------ Part Four ------------------------

    "Sound the bells, evacuate the city."

    "Why? This is madness! The enemy is at our gates, and you are listening to a blasted Bishop!?"

    "Father Rothwell is wise, he would not request an evacuation unless we were in danger."

    "He is a senile old fool. He cannot be trusted! He wishes for the temple knights to occupy the city, he is trying to draw us out!"

    "Cease your blasphemy and sound the bells, or I will personally remove your head, and use your scalped skull to do the task. Commander."

    "I shall take my leave immediately, your highness."


    ------------------------ Part Five ------------------------

    "There's no sign of the enemy, we should head back and report to the Commander."

    "Aye, but this doesn't bode well. Not at al- GOOD LORD, GET DOWN THOMAS!"

    "Sir? Sir!? What the bloody hell was that blast!? Why are you so pale?"

    "Look, in the distance, Thomas, the mountains..."

    "What mountains? Oh, dear Lord... Nothing but a sea of dust and rubble..."

    "Whatever it is, it has finally begun. Make haste to the palace, we must warn the king."
     
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2011
  2. blizzerd

    blizzerd Member

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    that he needs to be killed before he hurts himself seems rather... i dunno
     
  3. Ikalx

    Ikalx Member

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    Oho! Are you going to finally fill-in the ancient civilisation? Awesome ^^
     
  4. blizzerd

    blizzerd Member

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    *braces for epic*

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Jessiah

    Jessiah Member

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    Note to self: Firefox can randomly lose saved form data between launches. Next piece was nearly done, now it's gone :|

    Before I continue this, I'd like to know if people think this dialogue-based narrative is effective. If not, I will switch to my more traditional style.
     
  6. Ikalx

    Ikalx Member

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    Content needs to be extended to above a few lines, or read non-piecemeal by the reader, i.e. not post by post.

    Each time, you can't really get into it, but if you read 3+ posts at once, it's effective.
     
  7. blizzerd

    blizzerd Member

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    +1[​IMG]
     
  8. Jessiah

    Jessiah Member

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    Condensed into one post. When/if I continue, I'll add to the OP.
     

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